I often catch myself thinking about the power of social conditioning and the myth of normalcy that society imposes on us all. The myth of normalcy tells us that we should follow a certain path and reach a certain milestone by a specific age: school, career, family, retirement, etc. I know the pressure of cultural norms intimately. Accordingly, I was supposed to have a career breakthrough during my 20s, find the perfect partner by my early 30s, settle down with kids of my own, and have financial independence for decades to follow.
But none of that happened for me.
For as long as I can remember, I challenged the conventional life that my family had wanted for me. I walked through life having my own agenda. While most of the time I was proud of my own choices, I can’t deny the fact that, at times, I wonder if I am doing life all wrong. I question whether the choices I made were right for me. I look around to see friends and family members living securely while I am struggling, falling, or failing and I start second-guessing my life choices.
It is during those unconventional moments that I make myself listen to desires, ideas, and beliefs that live way below the surface. I tell myself to pay attention to my deeper sense of individuality. The more often I find myself in those difficult moments, the more I realize the true sense of who I am. You see, emotions are energy in motion, they come and wash out of our bodies. It is only when we put meaning to them that they start directing our life’s forecast. So instead of living in reaction to my emotions, to meeting the expectations of others and society, I am able to honor the authentic voice and need deep within.
Many of us fall from the path of societal expectations. And when that happens, it is important to realize that it is not us that has fallen; it is the one-size-fits-all societal expectations that have failed us. So, if you are like me, when you struggle to find belonging, feeling like the black sheep who pushes against the grain, know that you are not alone. I invite you to honor your authentic self and your unique choices instead of conforming to what others expect of you. Celebrate your bravery for staying true to who you are. Because, really, what is the alternative?
In the words of Papaji,
If you are acting like a sheep.
Do not blame the shepherd.
You cannot herd lions.
Wake up and roar.
And you are free.
And remember in the tough hikes and walks of life, you will find yourself alone, and while it can be extremely isolating, it is fine because brave and authentic souls are like eagles, they don’t flock, you have to find them one at a time.
#Namaste
