It was late morning of May 4th where I decided to check into my facebook account and boom- here I see everyone’s status announcing the assassination of Osama bin Ladin. Honestly speaking I was very conflicted – conflicted about hearing the news of the death of Osama Bin Laden. Conflicted because his death in many ways was the only option…..I don’t think he would have been taken alive nor that he could have survived very long anyway if he was ever brought to trial. I was also conflicted because I have mixed feelings on capital punishment, let alone state-sponsored assassination….but that is due to my background in human rights advocacy. What I felt most conflicted on was what does his death really symbolize/mean?
Osama Bin Laden was an evil misguided man that I am VERY glad is no longer around to spew his own personal brand of hate, however, I don’t in anyway feel that his death translate into ending the al-Qaeda’s movement as his end-goal of martyrdom per their belief was fulfilled.
For a brief, very brief moment I thought that there might be a chance that Muslims could be openly accepted in the US again.
Let’s travel back to a beautiful sunny morning of Sept 11th of 2001. It was around 10:30am, I was an undergraduate freshman attending my Cell Biology lecture in Atlanta GA, and here I hear loud voices and cries outside the hall. I did not know what for as my professor continued lecturing until class ended and just then we learned that the planes had been hijacked by terrorists and crashed into the twin towers in New York City and later the Pentagon in Washington, DC.
September 11th was not long after I declared my Hejab, the Islamic head cover, where I instantly felt this overwhelming sense of peace and I knew that I had made the right decision for myself. I proudly told others that I was Muslim and explained to everyone that I covered for modesty purposes. Before September 11th, I had students wonder and ask why I cover my hair. Some of them asked while others chose to pull my scarf from the back wondering if I had hair. Some even thought I had cancer hence the coverage. Then September 11th occur, which brought loads of awareness about the Islamic practice and rituals but media did it’s fair-job to portray Islam as a religion that promotes terrorism.
Following September 11tth, I had Middle Eastern friends who were threatened. As soon as the attack occurred, I had the college dean and president call me and a group of Muslim and Middle Eastern students over to their office, it was 13 of us if I remember correctly. They asked us what we needed to take all the precautions and keep us from being attacked by random citizens because of what had happened in New York and Washington DC. I did not know what they meant until I witnessed myself being attacked and people swear at me. I was almost physically hurt a few times and only then I asked my professors to grant me rides because taking the public transportation was not safe.
Students would look at me in pity when I told them about my faith. All of my work concerning the Middle East was looked upon with a touch of suspicion. Of course, I would joke a bit, lamenting that the chadors (the all-black ninja-like outfits that some Muslim women wear which shows only their eyes) I had bought for Halloween costumes were no longer acceptable to wear for fun on a holiday.
Like most in my field, I switched from telling others about the culture of the Middle East to affirming that not all Middle Easterners are terrorists. There is a big difference between sharing a culture and convincing someone that a person isn’t your enemy….or that by being Muslim myself that I was not an enemy…that first and foremost I was a Caucasian American woman who had exercised my right of freedom of religion.
Time progressed and the load of having a headscarf kept escalating. Many of my friends chose to take it off because of all the suspicion that came with it but I chose to keep it on. It was a tough decision considering that the decision of putting the headscarf went against my family as well. Soon I realized that I was limited from many opportunities because – well simply Hijab meant nothing but ISLAM or terrorism to some citizens in Atlanta, GA.
Over the past few years I’ve felt that the pressure on American Muslims had lightened a bit and I’ve been more open about it. Even just last week I was talking to people about how I was about to celebrate my 15 year anniversary of declaring my hejab. Fifteen years is a long time for anything…..and it is even a longer time to feel like you need to hide something about yourself.
So when they announced Bin Laden’s death, I thought that it might be possible that American Muslims could hope to NOT be equated with terrorists anymore. Nope! Doesn’t really look like it yet. And to prove my point further, look at all the anger and the demonstration that has been going on to stop the Islamic cultural center from opening in grand central, New York claiming no mosques in a war zone. And I’m writing about this here because people need to SERIOUSLY get a grip.
One man does not get to make an entire group of people guilty by religious association. One man does not make it acceptable to be racist or classist or any other sort of -ist out there. One man shouldn’t make me feel that I have to hide what I am or how I feel. And the death of one man doesn’t make all the problems of the world go away
